Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Na?

Monday/January 18 was much busier than I anticipated.  I had gotten a text from HM that morning asking me to be home in the afternoon so I could work a few hours. I typically don't work Mondays, and I had (wrongly) assumed that this Monday would be the same, which is why I opted to stay another day in Ansbach to hang out. When I woke up and read her text, I felt a bit guilty for not going home Sunday. I finally made it home at 2pm. I skyped with my mom, a weekly ritual. We had been talking for a bit when I got a text from HM. Her work situation had changed and she needed to change the plan for the night. She needed me to take the train to Erlangen, meet her at the station, drop her back off at work, and then go and pick up the kids so she could stay at work late. I got home with the kids around 4:45pm. The three of us went to a little hill by the house and spent about 20 minutes sledding. It was already fairly dark and One wanted to go home shortly after we got there. It took longer to walk there and back than the amount of time we spent sledding. We were back around 5:45pm. I had to hurry to get the swim class bag ready for HD and One. HD was late getting home and we had to rush to get them out the door quickly. Two was incredibly unhappy about this and cried a lot, but I hadn't expected anything else. He spent the next 30 minutes following me around and crying. I have tried many things to break him of this, and my most recent one is not comforting him. I could be totally off base, but I feel like he needs to start learning to calm himself down. I obviously don't just leave him to scream forever, I do eventually pick him up if he's not able to calm down. It's also not possible for me to sit there and coddle him for hours, as I have things I need to do like household chores or eat my own dinner. He was too upset to eat much that night. I brought him upstairs and we read some books. He loves reading and had calmed down enough that I brought him and the book back downstairs and tried to get him to eat some of his dinner while I read. I had the right idea. He didn't eat much, but he ate enough for me to feel comfortable putting him to bed.  I brought him back upstairs and began the process of getting him ready for bed. HM got home and took over. I was exhausted and finally done with work. I spent 10 minutes talking to HM as she got Two ready for bed. She asked me about my weekend, including questions like, "Where do you sleep when you don't come home?"

This exchange highlighted the complexity of my relationship with HP. We have a number of different relationships we have to foster. They are as follows: 1) boss-employee/team, 2) roommates, 3) care givers of their children, 4) friends, 5) a type of parent-child. I often find it hard to navigate all of these, as they all have different requirements and reactions. There are many times when some or all of these are playing out at the same time, making it even more complicated. I think we are doing a good job at figuring it out. 

Tuesday wasn't anything special. I worked my normal hour in the morning and went back to sleep when everyone left. I was still in recovery mode from the weekend, so I slept more than I had intended. I got up, showered, ate some breakfast, and then went to run a couple of errands. I had to go to buy some bread and pick up some special lotion for Two. I decided to ride my bike so it wouldn't take as long. The high was around 25F. I couldn't feel my face by the time I got home. I came home and began cooking soup for me to eat throughout the week. The soup ended up taking a couple hours to make. I didn't have time to do anything once the soup was finally done. HD got home with the kids at 4:30, starting my working hours. The kids and I watched tv, played in their rooms, and hung out. I got dinner ready, but we then waited for HM to get home before we ate. HM left immediately after dinner for her dance class. HD and I played with the kids for another half hour before we got them ready for bed. Once they were ready for bed, HD relieved me of my duties and finished putting them to sleep. I spent the rest of the night relaxing.

Wednesday I was at home with Two. He wasn't that sick, just too sick to go to school. We went for a walk in the morning, as we often do. We went to two grocery stores and then walked through the neighborhood. I cooked lunch and put him down for his nap. He hadn't slept much the night before and ended up sleeping for a whole three hours in the afternoon. I used the time to do some chores and relax. HM got home with One around 5pm and I was relieved of my duties. I spent the evening relaxing and went to bed early, knowing I would probably be home again Thursday with Two. 

As I expected, I was home with Two again on Thursday. The whole day was chaotic. Two had his 2 year doctor check up in the afternoon. I drove to school with HM and the kids, dropped Two off, drove HM to work and dropped her off, then came home with Two. We spent a little time outside playing in the snow. He went down for his nap early, as we had to leave the house in the early afternoon. When the time came, we picked up HM and then went and got One from school. The four of us went to the doctor's appointment. I waited in the lobby with One while HM went back with Two. We finally made it home around 5pm and my nine hour work day was finally over. Since I had the night off, I decided to use my free time to try and meet more people. I went to a meetup.com event at an Ethiopian restaurant. I was a bit apprehensive and didn't know if I would find food I'd like (I am a fairly picky eater). Two of my friends who I met at another meetup event in October, Simon and Theresa, were there. I sat next to them and we talked amongst ourselves and with everyone around us. The food was delicious (I got lamb), and the company was also fantastic. I got into an argument with the waiter when I paid. He overcharged me for my two drinks and I was not having it. In the end, he wouldn't relent. I had to pay. If I ever go back to eat, I won't order alcoholic drinks. After dinner, a few of us went to a bar. I did have to work the next morning, so I didn't want to stay out too late. I think I made it home around 11pm or so. 

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