Hier mit dem schönen Leben

This year for me has been all about changes for me, most of which have been good. I moved home with my parents after I graduated on December 13, 2014. I worked at my old high school for five months while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life...and I'm still trying to figure that out. I traveled around England and Germany for three weeks in August. I moved to Nürnberg in September. I celebrated Thanksgiving by attending a concert in Munich. I celebrated Christmas without one single family member. I brought in the New Year in Berlin. I've had my fair share of ups and down through out it all. From feeling on top of the world after graduation, to being bored out of my mind while living at home, to being absolutely terrified of what would come in my new life in Nürnberg, it's always been an adventure. I guess that's the beauty of it all, that you never know what's going to happen next. If you had asked me at graduation what I would be doing in one year,  I would have had no idea. If you had told me that I would be an au pair in Nürnberg, Germany, I may not have believed you. My time here has been filled with overwhelming happiness, crushing loneliness, breathless laughter, and deafening isolation. I still wouldn't trade it for anything. I have already become a stronger, more independent, more adventurous, and more open-minded woman than I would have guessed. To put it simply, I've grown up. Don't get me wrong, I've always been mature and responsible. But until I moved here, I'd never been completely alone. Yes, I have many friends and family in the US who I contact on a regular basis and who I share my life with. Yes, my host family is here for me and I feel comfortable asking them for help. For them, I will be forever grateful. However, my slow start to finding friends and making meaningful connections with people here translated into me doing a lot on my own and spending a lot of time in my own head. My life here is more about me, in a much deeper sense. I've gotten to know myself better than I ever had before, and I continue to do so. It's frightening at times. We don't always like what we see when we look in the mirror. In the end, all this time to myself has allowed me to reflect on things I want to change, whether it's my reaction to situations, or how often I exercise, or my ability to love myself. I'm sure this will only continue more throughout my remaining time here. After all, I have no idea what my life will be come September. So, to 2016, and whatever it brings.