Es liegt mir auf der Zunge.

Monday/January 25 I had my German class in Erlangen. Class itself wasn't bad, it actually went by a little faster than normal. After class I had to go and register for the next German class I'm taking (my current one is over next week). I ran into Mango at the office. He was with his host kid, who was adorably shy. I caught the train back to Nürnberg. I had intended on going to one of the offices I need to go to and get my drivers license translated, but I had a few too many questions and opted to wait. I spent an hour or so walking around downtown before I caught the tram/bus home. I took the long route home and swung by the bakery for some bread. When I got home, the cleaning lady was still here. I had to be careful to stay out of her way. I tinkered around for awhile and then took a nap. HM got home with the kids around her usual time. I worked for a couple of hours while HM took One to swim lessons and I stayed with Two. HD relieved me of my duties when he got home from work. The three of us ate dinner together. I spent the rest of the evening relaxing. 

Tuesday was yet another busy day. It seems like many of my days end up being busy now. I like it. Anyways, I worked an hour in the morning, took a nap, got up, showered and cooked lunch. I then went to a place called the ADAC. It functions as many things, but I think it primarily sells insurance. I was there to get my drivers license translated. My American drivers license is valid for six months here. In March, my six months will be up. I have to get my drivers license translated and then take the translation to one of the city offices and have them approve me for a drivers license here. I don't believe I'll have to take another driving test, but I'll know for certain later. I got to the ADAC office and paid for the translation. It cost 45€. It'll arrive in the mail in 10 days. The day was still young and it was beautiful outside. I didn't want to go home yet but I didn't have anything to do. I walked back to the Altstadt and walked around a bit. I eventually sat down in front of St. Lorenz, one of the cathedrals, and people watched. At some point, a girl began standing about 20 feet in front of me next to the cathedral doors. She was holding a sign that said, "Free Hugs." I sat for an hour and watched as people came up and hugged her. When the sun went down behind the buildings and it started to get chilly, I went home. I had to work for a few hours, but then I had the rest of the evening off. I went out and met up with Kelsey and Eddie. Kelsey moved back to the US on Thursday, so it was my last time hanging out with him. The three of us went to a place called Café Kraft, which is a rock climbing/bouldering gym. I chose to watch instead of participate. It was packed with people, most of whom were about my age. We only stayed about an hour and a half. We left and grabbed a bite to eat. They dropped me off at home and then went home themselves. 

Wednesday was HD's birthday. He turned 47! At one point, One was climbing on HD. I joked with One to be careful because HD is old now and One could break him. I worked my usual hour in the morning. At 10, I went for a walk in the woods with M and her dog. I hadn't seen her in weeks and it was nice to catch up. I'd also never been in that part of the woods. Some of the places we walked through were absolutely beautiful. I came home and left again to go for a run. It had been nearly two months since I'd run. First, my parents were here, then I was sick for three week, then it was simply too cold to go running. It felt good to finally get back out there. I showered, ate, and made my way downtown. I was in search for something and luckily found it quickly. I didn't have time to linger in the city and I made my way back home. I then left on my bicycle and went to the grocery store and pharmacy. I made it home with a little time to relax before HM and the kids got home. I worked for the rest of the evening. Since it was HD's birthday, we had a little "party" in the kitchen before the kids went to sleep. HP and I put the kids to sleep and then HP left to enjoy a night out. I was then on kid duty all night until HP got home. I ended up going to sleep before HP got back. 

Thursday was an excellent day. In the morning I went with HM and the kids to drop them all off. HM and I dropped the kids at Kindergarten and then headed to the Apotheke. I then dropped her off at her work and drove the car home. I took a short nap when I got home. For lunch, I had a date! I met a guy at the bar on Saturday and he got my number. We made plans to meet up, which was Thursday. We went to grab a bite to eat and then walked around the city. I didn't have much time, as I had to pick everyone up from school/work. I made it home around 3:30 and then had to leave again at 3:45 to get the kids. The three of us went to the bakery and enjoyed a little treat. We then went to a playground for about 45 minutes while we waited for HM to be done with her meeting. Conveniently, I had forgotten to bring any diapers with me. Two has very regular poops, which are always at night when HP are around. Naturally, he decided to poop while the three of us were at the park. We didn't have any diapers. I texted HM telling her this. Later she informed me that when she read my message, she laughed out loud and everyone in her meeting looked at her funny.  It was a smelly car ride home. HM left for her dance class shortly before HD got home from work. The three of us basically played tag-team with the kids. HM left me with the kids, I got Two ready for bed, HD got home and put Two to sleep, I got One ready for bed and put him to sleep. As you can imagine, it was a long day. I spent an hour skyping with friends from home before I went to bed myself. I was exhausted. 

I can't believe January is almost over! I've now been here for nearly five months! Time is flying by. 

Seid ihr alle Spießer oder was?

This weekend was fantastic. 

Friday/January 22 I worked an hour in the morning. I had already worked 28/30 of my working hours for the week, so HP decided to give me the evening off Friday so I could work a few hours on Saturday instead. Yet again, I went back to sleep once everyone had left for work/school. I managed to break my computer on Thursday evening before I went to dinner. Long story short, my computer fell and the display broke. My mission on Friday was to take my computer to get it fixed. There isn't an Apple Store in Nürnberg. I had to go to an "authorized Apple retailer" instead, which happened to be a store called Garvis, recommended to me by some German friends. It's going to cost entirely too much money and take entirely too much time to get it fixed, but I don't have another option. Until I get my computer back, I'll be posting through the app on my phone. For this reason, my posts may be short and riddled with errors for the next couple of weeks. Bear with me. After reluctantly handing over my computer, I spent a couple of hours walking around the city. I came home and relaxed for a few hours before I headed out for the night. As I was eating my dinner, HD came home and talked to me in the kitchen for awhile. I told him about my computer. His advice was simply, "Just get really drunk this weekend and you'll forget about it." Wise man, eh? I went to Erlangen to meet up with Katja (Russia, 23), Kevin (Spain, 19), and Mango (Mexico, 25), my new au pair friends. They're all au pairs in the Erlangen area and first we met at the  au pair meeting in October. We had all hung out once or twice since the initial meeting, but it was the au pair meeting in January that pushed us to make an effort to hang out more. We went to a bar in town and hung out there for a few hours. I made my way home around midnight. Again, I had to work the next morning so I didn't want to be out too late. I enjoyed my time wth them.

Saturday was simply awesome. I worked a few hours in the morning while HD went to the grocery store and HM went to get her hair cut. The boys and I played in their room, building castles with duplos and assembling their wooden train track. I was relieved of my duties at 12:30pm. I had originally needed to be out of the house at 2pm to meet up with friends, but our plans changed. The time change allowed me to stay at home and eat lunch with the family. HP took the kids up for their naps and I jumped into the shower. Adam and Kelsey got into town at 4:15pm and I met them at the train station. So our night began. We grabbed some quick street food and then met up with Simon. The four of us went to a meetup event at a new, local brewery owned by an American. It was a private beer tasting for the meetup event. We tried six beers, two from that brewery, and paid 15€. There were about 20 of us there. There were more young people there than most meetup events. It lasted two hours and we talked to our fair share of the people during that time. It was over at 7:30pm when the bar opened to the public. Five of us headed to a bar in the area, where we sat drinking for awhile. Adam, Kelsey, and I caught the train to Ansbach around 10pm to go hang out with everyone else. It was Jorvis's birthday. We met everyone (Eddie, Basti, Patricia, etc) at a bar in Ansbach and were there just long enough for a drink. A number of us headed back to The 11 (the apartment where Basti and three other people live, which is the party/central location for us when we hang out in Ansbach). Basti, Eddie, Jorvis, and Kelsey all do something related to music, whether it's play an instrument, produce music, or DJ. They busted out their fancy equipment and played awesome music all night. The party finally wound down at 5am. I had the luxury of sleeping on one of the love seats in the living room with two jackets for a blanket. Oh, to be young. 

Sunday was a day of recovery. I left Ansbach at noon and came home. I showered the stink off of me, hung out with my host family, skyped with my mom, and relaxed. I needed a calm day after my hard work week and action-packed weekend. 

Na?

Monday/January 18 was much busier than I anticipated.  I had gotten a text from HM that morning asking me to be home in the afternoon so I could work a few hours. I typically don't work Mondays, and I had (wrongly) assumed that this Monday would be the same, which is why I opted to stay another day in Ansbach to hang out. When I woke up and read her text, I felt a bit guilty for not going home Sunday. I finally made it home at 2pm. I skyped with my mom, a weekly ritual. We had been talking for a bit when I got a text from HM. Her work situation had changed and she needed to change the plan for the night. She needed me to take the train to Erlangen, meet her at the station, drop her back off at work, and then go and pick up the kids so she could stay at work late. I got home with the kids around 4:45pm. The three of us went to a little hill by the house and spent about 20 minutes sledding. It was already fairly dark and One wanted to go home shortly after we got there. It took longer to walk there and back than the amount of time we spent sledding. We were back around 5:45pm. I had to hurry to get the swim class bag ready for HD and One. HD was late getting home and we had to rush to get them out the door quickly. Two was incredibly unhappy about this and cried a lot, but I hadn't expected anything else. He spent the next 30 minutes following me around and crying. I have tried many things to break him of this, and my most recent one is not comforting him. I could be totally off base, but I feel like he needs to start learning to calm himself down. I obviously don't just leave him to scream forever, I do eventually pick him up if he's not able to calm down. It's also not possible for me to sit there and coddle him for hours, as I have things I need to do like household chores or eat my own dinner. He was too upset to eat much that night. I brought him upstairs and we read some books. He loves reading and had calmed down enough that I brought him and the book back downstairs and tried to get him to eat some of his dinner while I read. I had the right idea. He didn't eat much, but he ate enough for me to feel comfortable putting him to bed.  I brought him back upstairs and began the process of getting him ready for bed. HM got home and took over. I was exhausted and finally done with work. I spent 10 minutes talking to HM as she got Two ready for bed. She asked me about my weekend, including questions like, "Where do you sleep when you don't come home?"

This exchange highlighted the complexity of my relationship with HP. We have a number of different relationships we have to foster. They are as follows: 1) boss-employee/team, 2) roommates, 3) care givers of their children, 4) friends, 5) a type of parent-child. I often find it hard to navigate all of these, as they all have different requirements and reactions. There are many times when some or all of these are playing out at the same time, making it even more complicated. I think we are doing a good job at figuring it out. 

Tuesday wasn't anything special. I worked my normal hour in the morning and went back to sleep when everyone left. I was still in recovery mode from the weekend, so I slept more than I had intended. I got up, showered, ate some breakfast, and then went to run a couple of errands. I had to go to buy some bread and pick up some special lotion for Two. I decided to ride my bike so it wouldn't take as long. The high was around 25F. I couldn't feel my face by the time I got home. I came home and began cooking soup for me to eat throughout the week. The soup ended up taking a couple hours to make. I didn't have time to do anything once the soup was finally done. HD got home with the kids at 4:30, starting my working hours. The kids and I watched tv, played in their rooms, and hung out. I got dinner ready, but we then waited for HM to get home before we ate. HM left immediately after dinner for her dance class. HD and I played with the kids for another half hour before we got them ready for bed. Once they were ready for bed, HD relieved me of my duties and finished putting them to sleep. I spent the rest of the night relaxing.

Wednesday I was at home with Two. He wasn't that sick, just too sick to go to school. We went for a walk in the morning, as we often do. We went to two grocery stores and then walked through the neighborhood. I cooked lunch and put him down for his nap. He hadn't slept much the night before and ended up sleeping for a whole three hours in the afternoon. I used the time to do some chores and relax. HM got home with One around 5pm and I was relieved of my duties. I spent the evening relaxing and went to bed early, knowing I would probably be home again Thursday with Two. 

As I expected, I was home with Two again on Thursday. The whole day was chaotic. Two had his 2 year doctor check up in the afternoon. I drove to school with HM and the kids, dropped Two off, drove HM to work and dropped her off, then came home with Two. We spent a little time outside playing in the snow. He went down for his nap early, as we had to leave the house in the early afternoon. When the time came, we picked up HM and then went and got One from school. The four of us went to the doctor's appointment. I waited in the lobby with One while HM went back with Two. We finally made it home around 5pm and my nine hour work day was finally over. Since I had the night off, I decided to use my free time to try and meet more people. I went to a meetup.com event at an Ethiopian restaurant. I was a bit apprehensive and didn't know if I would find food I'd like (I am a fairly picky eater). Two of my friends who I met at another meetup event in October, Simon and Theresa, were there. I sat next to them and we talked amongst ourselves and with everyone around us. The food was delicious (I got lamb), and the company was also fantastic. I got into an argument with the waiter when I paid. He overcharged me for my two drinks and I was not having it. In the end, he wouldn't relent. I had to pay. If I ever go back to eat, I won't order alcoholic drinks. After dinner, a few of us went to a bar. I did have to work the next morning, so I didn't want to stay out too late. I think I made it home around 11pm or so. 

Große Dinge beginnen oft klitzeklein.

Friday/January 15 was a good day. I was up in the morning to get the kids awake and ready for the day. At breakfast, One ate a lot more than normal and insisted that it was because he was so hungry. HD looked at me and asked me if I thought One had been eating more than usual. I'm not sure why this surprised me so much, that he turned to ask me instead of HM. I had spent more time with the kids than either HD or HM throughout the week. I guess it makes sense that I would notice and that his first reaction would be to ask me. It was neat. Anyways, I went back to sleep when everyone was gone. I had to be home between 2-3pm to wait for a guy to come pick something up from the house. Since the time frame was kind of awkward for me to be able to go into the city after my nap/lunch, I opted to stay home and have a quiet day inside. HM and the kids got home in the late afternoon, but I didn't have to work. There was another Au Pair meeting in Erlangen that evening. I went to the first meeting back in October, but I hadn't been able to go to either of them in November or December. I decided to check it out and see what would come of it. Only four other people ended up going, and they were all other au pairs from the first meeting. The five of us went out to a bar afterwards and hung out for another few hours. It's nice to talk to people who completely understand my situation. Sure, we have different families and different issues, but overall, we understand each other better than anyone else. It's nice to have that connection. I had to work in the morning so I left just before midnight. It's a 40 minute train ride on the local train from the Erlangen Hauptbahnhof to the train station in my neighborhood (luckily it's a direct train). The last train back to Nürnberg leaves at 1am and the next one isn't until 4am or later, so I have to make sure to get home before I'm stuck there. All in all, they are cool people and I'm sure I'll be hanging out with them again, or I hope I will.

Saturday was a busy day for me. I was up at 9:30am to have breakfast with the family and we also talked for a bit. HP eventually left for the grocery store and I stayed home with the kids. The boys and I went outside and played in the snow for over an hour. I couldn't feel my toes by the end of it, but the boys surely had a blast. We finished up outside just as HP got home. HP unpacked the food while I cooked lunch. We all ate together and then HP took the kids upstairs for a nap. I cleaned up after lunch. Once I was finished in the kitchen, my working hours were over. I called some friends to finalize our plans for the day. Around dinnertime I left the house to go to a food truck gathering. As I was leaving, Two was standing with HD in the foyer. HD told Two to say goodbye to me, which he did. When I turned to walk out the door, Two ran after me with his hand in the air, wanting a high five. It was absolutely adorable. I met Adam, Eddie, and Kelsey at the Hauptbahnhof. The four of us jumped on the subway and went to the Nürnberg Messe, which is the exhibition center in town. About 20-25 food trucks were arranged in a large circle under the pavilion, with tables, chairs, and a DJ set up in the middle. It's been really cold here, and Saturday was no exception. It was snowing for awhile while we were at the food trucks. Anyways, we all enjoyed some cheap and delicious food. I got a pretty good laugh when I saw one truck that claimed to sell "authentic Mexican." I went closer to read the menu and I saw that they were serving "pulled turkey bbq burritos," which is absolutely not "authentic" Mexican food. In general, I was surprised at the large number of food trucks serving barbecue. There's certainly not many, if any, barbecue restaurants here. Maybe they're all in food truck form instead. We stayed about an hour. We headed back into the city center and had a couple drinks at a bar before we caught a train to Ansbach. One of their friends was DJing at a bar in town and the whole extended friend group was going. We made it to Ansbach around 10pm and then went to meet up with everyone else. We all somehow ended up getting separated into three large groups of people which all arrived at the bar separately. We danced the night away and had a good time. I had been wanting to go dancing since Thursday, and I got to dance to my heart's content that night. The group split up as the night went on, with some people going on to other bars, and some of us heading home. The four of us (me, Adam, Kelsey, and Eddie) jumped in a taxi and went back to Eddie's to crash.

Sunday morning we all slept in. Adam and I were the first ones awake. Our noise woke up Eddie and Kelsey. We spent some time marveling at the amount of snow that had fallen overnight. We ate, lazed around, and enjoyed each others company. That was basically the theme of the day. We normally spend our time together doing something, so it was cool to spend time together just doing nothing.  I ended up spending the night again, as they didn't have to work the next day/Monday due to MLK Day. I typically don't work Mondays, so I had decided to skip my German class to hang out.

This week has already been long, and it's only Monday.

Sie gehört hier her.

January 11/Monday did not begin as I expected. I was up entirely too early to take the train to Erlangen for my German class. I woke up at 6:15am to leave the house at 7:25am, to catch the train at 7:36am, to arrive in Erlangen at 8:13am, to finally begin class at 8:30am. As you can see, it's a two hour ordeal to get to class once I wake up. The train ran a few minutes late and I had to rush to class from the train station. I walked inside and there was only one other person in the room, a British chick named Helen. Usually my teacher is there by the time I arrive, so I was surprised to see the room otherwise empty. Helen asked me if I had seen the sheet on the door, which I hadn't. The sheet informed us that our class had been cancelled for the day. I was less than pleased, as I hadn't even wanted to come to class in the first place due to my lack of sleep the night before. I was about to leave when Helen asked if I wanted to go get some coffee with her. She apparently had another class after our German class and had to stay regardless. I said yes. I'm not sure exactly how old Helen is, but she's in her early 30s. We waited a little to see who else would show up. Maria, a Spanish girl in her mid 20's, walked in. She was also surprised to see the class was cancelled, but decided to get coffee with us. We waited another 10 minutes or so until we left for the cafe. Nadzeya, a girl in her late 20s from Belarus, showed up at the cafe a few minutes later. The four of us sat in the cafe and spoke German for the normal duration of our class. It was surprisingly nice. We all come from such different backgrounds and have chosen vastly different paths in life. I was glad I decided to stay. I didn't expect to enjoy myself so much, especially speaking German. I often find it quite awkward when a group of non-native speakers all sit around and speak German. I guess we are all proficient enough that we could easily understand each other. I caught my normal train back to Nürnberg and spent a few hours shopping downtown. Pretty much all of the shops were having post-holiday sales. I popped into a couple shops whose items I had been needing/wanting. I didn't buy much, but my proudest purchase was a scarf for 7,50€ that was originally priced at 45€. Not bad, eh? I finally made it home around 1:30pm. I spent most of the rest of the day being lazy. I organized some things in my room, caught up on some tv shows, took care of some odds and ends, wrote some blog posts (ha!), and generally hung out. I didn't have to work. It was nice to have a half day of rest before my work week began.

Tuesday was my first "normal" work day in nearly a month. I worked my hour in the morning, went back to sleep for two hours, and then finally got up to be productive. I showered, made lunch, and set out to run errands. I wanted a few things from the grocery store and I also had to pick up some things we needed. I came home, dropped off the groceries, and set back out to go to the huge shoe store, Mücke, who was also having sales. I had my eyes on a pair of shoes awhile back but didn't want to drop the money for them. I was happy to see that they were on sale for nearly 25€ off the original price, putting them in my price range. I got home an hour before HM got home with the kids. I used the time to do some last minute chores and to relax a bit more. HM was in a rush to get out the door at 5pm to catch her flight. She left for a business trip. I was with the kids until HD got home from work. Two cried, as he normally does when one of HP leaves, despite the fact that One was there. HD got home an hour and a half after HM left. The three of us ate dinner together. The night was pretty calm. The kids were their usual active selves.

Wednesday was my "hard" day of work this week. I worked my usual hour in the morning with HD. One was being really mean to me. HD made a point to tell him that I belong here with them and that he needs to get over it. It was disheartening for me to see One act this way, but it was reassuring to hear HD's reaction to it. Though I typically feel like I am an undeniable part of the family, there are still moments when I feel like an imposter. These moments typically occur when HP are arguing (to be fair, this is not often), or when the kids are making it clear that they don't want me around (this is much more common). Every time the kids are being difficult and HP make a point to tell the kids that I am here to stay, it gives me the motivation to stay positive. Anyways, HD took the kids to school and then came back and worked from home until he had to leave to catch his flight. I chose to forgo my morning nap to get ready and head into the city. I spent a few hours in the city, walking around and popping in and out of shops. I eventually made my way to the huge shoe store near us. I bought another pair of shoes I had my eyes on, then walked the two miles home in the rain. Sounds crazy, but I wanted to make sure to stretch my legs before I came home and had to take care of the kids all evening. HD left the house around 1:30pm to catch his flight. I left at 3:30pm to pick up the kids from school. We came home, played, watched tv, painted, ate dinner, got ready for bed, and then I put them to bed. That's right, I had the kids alone from 4pm until they went to sleep, and then some. It was the first time I was alone with them from school until bedtime. I think HP were a little apprehensive about it, afraid it would be too much for me. Though exhausting, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle, especially because the kids weren't being any more difficult than usual. HM got home from her business trip around 10:30pm, and I was finally off duty.

Thursday was a good day. I worked the hour in the morning and skipped my morning nap. I showered, cooked lunch, and then set out for the city in search of a particular shop. I bought a book a few months ago with a list of 70 things to do in Nürnberg, as well as 50 or so things to do in Erlangen and Fürth. Most of them aren't the typical tourist destinations. I've only made it to a few places on the list, and I had promised myself that I would start on it again this week. Just before noon, I made my way to the train stop, running into the bakery for some bread first. Once downtown, I took my time. I walked into both of the big churches in the old town. I've been in them countless times, but each time somehow manages to feel like the first. I walked down to the Hauptmarkt, which is where the Christmas markets were set up. Last time I was there (early this week), they were still breaking down all the old stands. This time around, all the old stands were down and there was another small fruit/vegetable market set up. I walked around some more until I finally found the shop, which was tucked in an alley. The shop was named "chocolat" and was, as you have guessed, a fine chocolate shop. I eat chocolate every single day. It wasn't as big of a store as I thought it would be, but they had countless brands and flavors of chocolate, including some house made goodies. I spent 20 minutes walking around and looking. I finally settled on two kinds to buy, and was on my way. I slowly made my way home. I spent the next two hours at home relaxing before HM got home with the kids. Once they got home, One and I baked some muffins for Two's birthday party at school the next day. We all had dinner together, and then HM left for her dance class. I had to put the kids to sleep. Two was being really whiney and HM almost didn't go, but I convinced her that I could handle it. The night with them was easy. Two cried as he does when HP leave, but otherwise it was an easy night with them. HM got home around 10pm and HD around midnight. I skyped with a friend and then got in bed early.

I can't believe January is already half way over! Where does the time go?!

Du nimmst all den Ballast und schmeisst ihn weg.

January 9/Saturday was a long day for me. I was up just after 7am. The morning was slow, yet somehow busy. We had to finish packing and get everything out of the apartment by 9:30. We just barely managed to make it out on time. We eventually drove to Bozen, the town where I would be catching my bus home. I was dropped off at 11am and my host family continued on their drive home. My bus didn't leave until 5pm, so I had to spend the next six hours in Bozen keeping myself occupied. The time went by surprisingly fast. There wasn't terribly much to see, but it was still beautiful. I popped into a cafe for some hot chocolate and cake. Hot chocolate in Italy is something special. It's essentially melted chocolate, but it's not as thick as you'd imagine. It's kind of the consistency of warm pudding. It was rich, yet good. I had trouble finishing all of my (already small) cup. I meandered around the shopping district and popped into a few stores that caught my eye. I walked through a fruit and vegetable market. I sat inside two large churches. I walked down to the river, where there was also a perfect view of the mountains. I ate some authentic Italian pizza in a cute little restaurant. At one point, I even saw a drug deal happening, I kid you not. I also witnessed a peaceful "protest." There was a group of Muslims walking around with signs and chanting. Their signs stated that they were not terrorists and that their religion promoted peace. It was a cool experience. Unfortunately, it started raining about an hour before my bus left. I didn't have an umbrella or rain jacket with me, so I arrived at the bus stop earlier than needed so I could get out of the rain. The journey from Bozen to München was easy. I thought we'd definitely get stopped at the border and all of our passports would be checked, but it didn't happen. We arrived about 10 minutes later than planned. I had a 45 minute wait for my bus from München to Nürnberg. That bus also left on time and arrived in Nürnberg early. However, the bus smelled like feet the whole time. I did my best to distract myself from the smell. HD picked me up from the bus station and I arrived home just after midnight. I unpacked, organized my things, and went to bed. After nearly two weeks of being away (Berlin and then Italy), I was home. Though I thoroughly enjoyed both of my trips, it was nice to be in my own bed.

Sunday was a good day. In the morning I helped HD dismantle the Christmas tree. I mostly took down ornaments while he put them in their packaging. I showered, ate a quick dinner with my host family, and then skyped with my mom. I left in the early afternoon for Ansbach. Adam picked me up from the train station and we made our way to one of the military bases. We went to the PX and Commissary so that I could pick up some American goods. We ran into Kelsey there, one of our other friends who we hang out with occasionally. The two of us then met Eddie at the bowling alley. We ate dinner there and then bowled a game. I absolutely destroyed them, winning by a 50 point margin. I've never been more proud of myself. We didn't have time to play a second game because we had booked tickets to see a movie in Nürnberg. Eddie drove us to town. We had a drink in a bar while we waited for our movie. We then met up with Sarah and Eve, two other friends from Ansbach, who came to the movie with us. We saw The Revenant. It was a fantastic movie, though a little too gory for my taste. The movie started at 7:30pm, but with previews and credits, we didn't leave the theater until 10:30pm. They were kind enough to drive me home. It was cold and raining, so it was nice to not have to wait on the train. It was a fabulous Sunday and I was glad to see my friends after a week away.

Du Trittbrettfahrer!

Thursday/January 7 was my first official day of work for the week. We ate breakfast together and discussed the plan for the day. I stayed home with Two while HP went to ski and One was at ski lessons. One has been in ski lessons all week, some days for half a day and some days for the full day. He seemed to be enjoying it. My day with Two was a bit strenuous. Two walked around crying most of the morning. I tried doing everything he loves to get him to stop - reading books, coloring, watching tv, etc, but he kept crying. He doesn’t typically cry when we go on walks, so him and I left in the late morning with the stroller. We walked around a bit as I tried to find good vantage points to take photos. Much to my dismay, there weren’t places I could walk with the stroller. It was already late in the morning and I knew we’d have to go back soon enough for lunch and Two’s nap. I gave up on the idea for the day. Two and I went to the grocery store and picked up a couple of Italian goods. By “goods,” I mean some dessert type items (I have a huge sweet tooth). When I was checking out, the cashier smiled at me and told me my items weren’t a proper breakfast. I assured him that it wasn’t for breakfast. Two and I then went to a cafe and got some hot chocolate. He wasn’t interested in drinking any and was getting restless from hunger and fatigue, so I drank quickly and we left. We came home and I prepared some lunch. Like flipping a switch, he became visibly grumpy as soon as we got back home. I guess being here without HP and One makes him remember that they exist and that they’re not present. I tried to feed him as quickly as possible so he could go down for his nap. He fell asleep easier than anticipated. I took the time to clean up the kitchen and then relax in my room, finishing a book I had started on the drive down here. Two was sleeping for just under two hours. HD/One got home just after Two woke up. At home, Two sleeps in a crib. Here, he slept in the king sized bed with One. When I heard him crying, the signal that he was awake, I slowly made my way inside his room. I found him rummaging through his bag to find a diaper. I guess he wanted a fresh one. I was in the bedroom with Two, changing his diaper and talking to him, when I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. HD had been slowly walking down the hallway, watching us. HP often do this when they get home. I guess they like to see what we’re doing before we know they’re there. When HM was done skiing, HD, the kids, and I met HM at the little skating rink in town. The five of us spent an hour ice skating. I’d never been ice skating at an outdoor rink before, and it even started snowing while we were there! The experience was pretty magical. On the way home we stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few supplies. I guess my body was still recovering from the three days of skiing, because I was still exhausted. Despite this, I felt a bit restless stuck at home with Two all day. I had wanted to go out and explore. I didn’t want to waste my time in Italy stuck inside the apartment. I can’t complain though, as I did get to spend three full days out skiing. 

Friday was Two’s second birthday. It was also our last full day in Italy. One had his last day of ski classes, HP had their last day on the slopes, and I stayed home with Two. It was a slow start to the morning. We celebrated Two’s birthday with cake for breakfast (as well as typical breakfast foods, but cake was the first thing consumed). HM left with One to drop him off at ski class. HD, Two and I lingered at home. HD started the process of packing while I watched Two. HM drove back and picked up HD. The two of them then left to ski, leaving me at home with Two. He still cries a lot when he gets left with me, and it is infinitely worse when we just stay at home. I quickly grew tired of his screaming, so we set off to get a hot chocolate. I also wanted to walk around and take pictures with my nice camera, but I didn’t have enough time and the stroller makes everything more difficult. This town was also incredibly hilly (imagine that, in a mountain town!), and it’s a work out just to walk around with the stroller. Anyways, HD was coming back at 12:30 to pick us up and it was already 10:30 by the time him and HM had left the house. In that two hour stretch, I had to make sure both of us had lunch. Basically, I didn’t have enough time to do everything. Anyways, Two and I went to get hot chocolate. He normally isn’t fussy once we’re out of the house, but he was being exceptionally difficult and was crying in the cafe. I tried to get in and out of there as soon as possible. On the way home, an older woman stopped me and asked me where the grocery store was. She did so in Italian. Luckily all she said was three words, which I understood. I pointed her in the right direction and she seemed grateful. We came home and I prepared some lunch. Two finally stopped crying when we sat down and watched tv. Thank goodness. HD got home around 12:15 and ate lunch with us. The three of us then got ready and headed out to meet up with HM. On the last day of ski lessons, the kids have a “race.” They each go down a specified course and are timed. The top three kids in each group get a medal. We all met on the mountain to watch this. We spent about three hours on the mountain. We watched One in his race, drank some hot chocolate, generally loitered around, and attended the “awards ceremony” for the kids. My feet were icicles by the end of it. I was glad to be out of the house and on the mountain for my last day in Italy. We finally came home around 4pm. We spent the evening celebrating Two’s birthday, packing, eating the rest of the food, and hanging out. 

Du bist dem Tod von der Schippe gesprungen!

On Sunday (January 3) I got to sleep in, finally, and make up for the lack of sleep in Berlin. I slept 10 hours without once waking up, something very unusual for me. Funny, I slept more in one night at home than I did the whole time I was in Berlin. The partying lifestyle certainly isn’t designed for sleeping. I went over to the neighbors to use some internet in the morning. HP had turned off the internet when they left for Italy. When I say turn off, I mean through the internet provider. It’ll come back on when we get home. I got to the neighbors just before they were about to sit down for breakfast, so they invited me to join. Food and internet: every poor 20-something’s dream, right? I left for the bus station in the early afternoon. I picked up some food for the trip at the train station and made a run to the bank for some cash. I got to the bus station a solid 25 minutes before my bus. The bus arrived early and departed on time. It wasn’t full and I had a whole row to myself. I rode down to Munich, had an hour layover, and then boarded another bus to Italy. The bus from Munich to Bozen, Italy wasn’t full either. The journey all together was about 7 hours. I was surprised that we weren’t delayed at all. HD picked me up from the bus station in Bozen and we drove the hour to Santa Cristina in the dark. I was tickled to see that all the signs are always in Italian and German, and then sometimes also English and the local dialect here. Everyone was asleep when we got back. I had a little snack and chatted with HD before going to bed. 

It was an early morning on Monday. I was awake just after 7 and we ate breakfast together at 8. We were eventually out of the apartment in time for HM to take One to his ski class (Two is too little to do any classes). HD and I walked to the ticket office and bought my three day ski pass. We then went to a ski shop for me to rent skis, poles, ski boots, and a helmet. We finally made our way up to the bunny slopes for me to practice. This was also where One had his class, so we got to watch him a bit. HD didn’t really give me much direction, just kinda threw me into it. I’ve been skiing twice before, but both times were when I was 16-17 years old. I am now on the verge of my 24th birthday, so it’s been a long time. I’ve also never had formal ski lessons. I did better than I anticipated, though that’s not saying much. After practicing a bit, HD and I went down a red slope because HM assured us that it was easy. For reference, blue is a beginner slope, red is intermediate, and black is advanced. It was a struggle for me. I ended up crashing at least four times, though a few strangers stopped and helped me (albeit with a look of pity on their face). I was feeling highly discouraged. Once we made it down, it was time for lunch. We met HM and the kids at the restaurant near the slopes. I was thrilled to be sitting still for a bit. I didn’t want to try that red slope again and spent the rest of the afternoon on the bunny slopes practicing. HD took off and went down some of the black slopes. I made my way home around 3:30 and was thrilled to take off my gear. I relaxed a little before I showered and left to walk around town a little. We are in Santa Cristina, a small but adorable village. I walked up and down the main street, stopping in some of the shops along the way. I even popped into the grocery store and bought some Italian goods. I got home just in time for dinner and enjoyed some quality time with my host family. I was absolutely exhausted and was asleep before 9:30pm.

A view of St Cristina from above

Tuesday was my second day of skiing. I was dreading it all morning. We all ate breakfast together and then HD set off with the kids. HM and I walked down to the bus stop and took the bus over to another lift area. We took a bus to the base of the mountain and then took a tram up to the middle of the mountain, and finally a lift to the start of the slope. It was mostly blue with a red section at the end. I was pretty hesitant and HM could see that. She spent her time explaining to me how to do everything. She would stop me from time to time to correct something I was doing wrong or to show me how to do it better. I was absolutely grateful for her help and felt significantly better and more comfortable. I even enjoyed skiing at times! I still did crash a number of times and a couple people did stop to help me. After the second run down the blue/red slope, HM left me to go down the black one. This particular black slope is where they hold the Ski World Cup. I went and sat and watched people come in off the slope, particularly impressed with the five year olds who could already easily do it. When HM was done, we went back to the kiddie slopes to see how One was faring. HM and I ate lunch at the same restaurant and then I spent a little bit of time practicing some of the things HM taught me. I eventually went back to the slopes we were at earlier. HM stayed to watch One and to ski the red slopes there. I spent a long time watching people ski in off the mountain. I also watched the crowds walk by, enjoying hearing all the different languages and seeing all sorts of people. I decided to walk home instead of take the bus. I got back just before 3:30pm. Again, I showered and then left to wander around town. I was out for about an hour and a half and came home when I was too cold to be outside anymore. I spent the evening with the family eating dinner and bonding. 

The view from the middle of the red/blue slope.

Wednesday was my last day of skiing. We were all up and out of the house shortly after 9am. HD and I took the bus to where HM and I were the day before. We rode up to the highest point on the mountain that we could go. It took us at least half an hour to get to the top. We had to take a tram and then three lifts to reach it. The view was absolutely breathtaking. I was more nervous than ever looking down at the slope in front of us, but I tried to take a minute to look around and appreciate the moment. HD then had me practice a bit, going down a certain section three times. We didn’t have too much time to waste, so we eventually skied all the way down the mountain. I think it took us just under half an hour with all the short breaks we took (and with how slow I was skiing). I was quite proud of myself when we reached the bottom because I did not crash once! When I looked at the map later, I discovered that most of the slope we skied was red. There were some sections of blue, but it was definitely more red than blue. One’s ski lessons were only half a day, so the two of us made our way back over to where his lessons were and met up with HM and Two. The five of us had lunch together. HD and One then spent some time skiing down the bunny slopes together. One wanted to show us how good he was. I eventually left and made my way back to where we were in the morning, though I didn’t go as high up. It was my last day of skiing and I didn’t want to waste it, though I also really didn’t feel like skiing anymore. I made myself go down one more time. I skied down without crashing again! I was proud, though my legs were burning. I had briefly considered doing another run, but I wasn’t sure I had the strength left. By then, it was 3pm and the day was wrapping up anyways. I decided to go home. As I was waiting for the tram back down to the base (it is not possible to ski down, you have to take the tram), the tram full of people coming up slowly made its way past me. I made eye contact with a young guy, who then proceeded to stick his tongue out at me. He was probably 17 or 18, but the interaction made me smile. I got home just after 3:30pm. Every single step was laborious. My feet have never felt freedom as they did when I took off my ski boots. Somehow the rentals I had did not fit me, but whether they were too tight or not tight enough is a mystery. Either way, I have bruises up and down the fronts and sides of my shins. HD got home soon after me, and about an hour later the five of us all left to run errands. I had to return my rental gear, HP had to buy their ski passes for Thursday, and we all had to go to the grocery store. We took our time, stopping at the playground and a little ice castle structure. We finally got home, ate dinner, and then spent the rest of the evening relaxing. Three days of skiing (poorly), and my entire body aches in places I forgot could ache. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little relieved that my days of skiing have come to an end. 

The view from 2518 m (8261 ft) above! 

I have to watch the kids Thursday and Friday while HP ski. I hope I can do some exploring as well!

Hier mit dem schönen Leben

This year for me has been all about changes for me, most of which have been good. I moved home with my parents after I graduated on December 13, 2014. I worked at my old high school for five months while I tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life...and I'm still trying to figure that out. I traveled around England and Germany for three weeks in August. I moved to Nürnberg in September. I celebrated Thanksgiving by attending a concert in Munich. I celebrated Christmas without one single family member. I brought in the New Year in Berlin. I've had my fair share of ups and down through out it all. From feeling on top of the world after graduation, to being bored out of my mind while living at home, to being absolutely terrified of what would come in my new life in Nürnberg, it's always been an adventure. I guess that's the beauty of it all, that you never know what's going to happen next. If you had asked me at graduation what I would be doing in one year,  I would have had no idea. If you had told me that I would be an au pair in Nürnberg, Germany, I may not have believed you. My time here has been filled with overwhelming happiness, crushing loneliness, breathless laughter, and deafening isolation. I still wouldn't trade it for anything. I have already become a stronger, more independent, more adventurous, and more open-minded woman than I would have guessed. To put it simply, I've grown up. Don't get me wrong, I've always been mature and responsible. But until I moved here, I'd never been completely alone. Yes, I have many friends and family in the US who I contact on a regular basis and who I share my life with. Yes, my host family is here for me and I feel comfortable asking them for help. For them, I will be forever grateful. However, my slow start to finding friends and making meaningful connections with people here translated into me doing a lot on my own and spending a lot of time in my own head. My life here is more about me, in a much deeper sense. I've gotten to know myself better than I ever had before, and I continue to do so. It's frightening at times. We don't always like what we see when we look in the mirror. In the end, all this time to myself has allowed me to reflect on things I want to change, whether it's my reaction to situations, or how often I exercise, or my ability to love myself. I'm sure this will only continue more throughout my remaining time here. After all, I have no idea what my life will be come September. So, to 2016, and whatever it brings.

Guten Rutsch!

We were up and out of the house just before 5:30 on Wednesday morning (December 30). Our bus was at 6:30 and we wanted plenty of time to get to the bus stop. We also wanted to make a stop to get some food before we boarded. We arrived at the bus station a solid 20 minutes before departure and the bus was already there. The ride to Berlin was uneventful. It took just under five and a half hours. We made one stop along the way and didn’t hit any traffic. I tried to sleep, but I think I only managed to get just under two hours of interrupted sleep. We made it to Berlin just before noon. We hadn’t really planned too well once we made it there. Eli, our friend in Berlin who we stayed with, had sent some basic directions to his office so we could pick up the spare key from him. It took us about twice as long to get there as it should have. We had to figure out which trains to take, but then we ended up going a longer way than necessary. To add insult to injury, we also go on the right train going the wrong direction. Once we finally go to the right station, we had to walk 15 minutes to Eli’s work. He came down and met us and the four of us grabbed some lunch. Eddie, Adam and I then went back to his apartment. We again had to take the trains to get to Eli’s place. As we were walking up the stairs to get out of the subway, we walked behind a mother with her two small children. One was young enough to be in a stroller and the other was walking. The mother had to carry the stroller up the stairs, leaving the older (though probably still about 4 years old) to walk alone. She was not having it. I happened to walk up behind them as this was happening. The little girl looked up at me and offered me her hand. I held her hand and helped her walk up the stairs. Once a the top, her mom smiled at me and thanked me. It was nearly 3pm when we finally made it to the apartment. We decided to take a nap and wait for Eli to get off work before we did anything. Eli was home around 6:30pm and we all went to the grocery store for some weekend supplies. We are obviously in no rush, as we didn’t end up getting to a restaurant to eat dinner until 10m. We had spent a little time walking around to the river after we went grocery shopping. We went to a bar after dinner and had a drink. We tried to go to another bar afterwards, but it was closed. We went home and hung out for a few more hours, including spending some time on the roof of the apartment building. It was neat to see the city like that. It was 5am by the time I laid down to sleep.

We weren’t awake and moving around until noon on New Years Eve. We took our time figuring out the plans for bringing in the New Years. Eli was playing at a house party (he's a DJ) on the outskirts of Berlin. Eddie wanted to go to the house party and Adam wanted to stay and celebrate in the city center. Basti and Patricia ended up booking a bus and came into town that night. They also wanted to go to the house party. I was undecided for awhile and couldn’t figure out if I wanted to stay in the city and get the typical Berlin experience or go out to the house party and be around most of my friends. In end end, I opted to go to the house party with friends. Eli left around 5pm and drove to the house with another DJ. Eddie, Adam, and I also left the house at that time. We went to the grocery stores to pick up some supplies. Adam then separated from us to do his own thing and Eddie and I headed to the central bus station. We stopped at a Chinese restaurant along the way and ate dinner and then went to greet Basti and Patricia. The four of us headed out to the house party together. We ended up waiting at the central train station for an hour for the next train. As we were waiting, two Australian girls approached us asking for help with trains. I ended up spending 10 minutes making sure they got to where they needed to go. We took a train to the edge of the city and then were supposed to hop on a bus for 20 minutes, and finally walk 15 minutes to the house. The buses weren’t running anymore by the time we got there, so we had to split a taxi. We finally made it to the house just before 10pm with the intention of staying the night. The house was interesting. It was previously used as a horse barn and there were a number of stalls on the property. There was one large house with a number of smaller, less refined houses on the property. It was surrounded by fields/forest. Overall, it was a cool, yet different place to be. I hadn’t imagined I would spent my New Years at such a place, but it was cool. We spent the evening, talking, dancing, eating, drinking, and setting off fireworks. One of the people running the party had an idea to get everyone to write a wish on a piece of paper. He then collected the wishes, attached them to fireworks, and shot them off at midnight. I didn’t end up giving him my wish. Instead, Basti collected the five of ours (me, Basti, Eli, Eddie, and Patricia), and set ours off together. At midnight, we all collected outside, counted down the time, and then celebrated the New Year. We shot off fireworks and hugged each other. It was a beautiful moment spent with beautiful people. I was happy to be there with them. I ended up not sleeping at all the whole night. I spent a lot of time in deep conversation with both the four friends I came with but also with a number of new people I met at the party. I had brought a sleeping bad and intended on sleeping at some point, but that time never came. 

Basti, me, Patricia, Eddie, and Eli

As said, I didn’t sleep at all on the morning of January 1. I stayed up with Eddie until around 10am. He finally went to sleep then, but Basti happened to wake up then and so him and I spent a couple of hours chatting. Patricia joined us at some point and eventually Eli woke up too. We took our time getting out of there, but eventually left at 12:30pm. I can’t remember exactly what time we made it back to Eli’s apartment, but I think it was around 2pm. We all cooked some lunch together and took turns showering. Basti, Eddie, and I took naps while Adam and Patricia went out into the city and Eli went to work. We all re-conveniened at 10:30pm at the apartment. We hung out for awhile until 1am when we headed out to a bar. The one we wanted to go to was closed, but we found another one and hung out there for a few hours. We got back home again at 4am and I went to sleep almost immediately. By that point, I’d only had about 2.5 hours of sleep in about 40 hours. I could barely keep my eyes open and was running purely on fumes. Since Basti and Patricia were staying with us, it was an even tighter squeeze than before, but we made it work. That’s what being young is all about, eh?

I managed another measly few hours of sleep on Saturday morning, from about 5-8am. My bus back to Nürnberg was at 10:15am from the central bus station in Berlin. I needed about an hour to get from Eli’s to the train station so that I would have 2ish minutes at the station before my bus left. Somehow I ended up being the last person on the bus, therefore getting the last available seat. I sat in the very back row, which is five people across. I was in one of the middle seats and sat between an older woman and a guy about my age. It sucked, but I was so tired that nothing was going to prevent me from sleeping. I slept for a solid three hours as soon as the bus left the station. I was asleep until we stopped for our 30 minute break (the driver has to have a break). I had planned on staying on the bus and sleeping more, but the driver made me get off the bus and told me to “stop being lazy.” I didn’t end up sleeping again for the rest of the drive. I made it back to Nürnberg just around 3:30pm. I grabbed some food in the train station and then made my way straight home. I spent the evening unpacking, doing laundry, and repacking. It was eerie to have the house all to myself. I’ve been home alone plenty before. Obviously I am home alone most days. But during the days, I enjoy the quiet because I know everyone will be home soon enough and the peace will be gone. This time, the quiet was here to stay and I would be sleeping alone in the house for the first time since I arrived. It’s weird just thinking about it.