Monday morning while I was brushing One's teeth, I made a startling discovery. There was a tiny little blue ball stuck up his nose. I asked him about it and he told me he stuck it up there over the weekend. HD was the closest to me, so I showed him. He was livid and began the process of extracting the ball from One's nose. At one point I heard HD asking One if he had stuck any other balls anywhere else. I had to laugh at that. Since the cleaning lady comes Mondays, I try to be out of the house so I don't get in her way. I made my way into town to pick up a few things I needed and to also look for a new, thicker jacket. I only worked for three hours that evening before HM told me I had the rest of the night free. HP asked me to work a bit on Saturday, so they wanted to "save" some of my hours to use on Saturday and not use all of them during the week.
Tuesday marked the one month anniversary of my time here. HD left early that morning for Karlsruhe. I got to sleep in (in an effort to use less of my working hours during the week)! I got up and went for a run then made my way over to M's and chatted with her for a bit. I left at 2:30pm to go to Erlangen and pick the kids up from Kindergarten. HM needed to stay late at work and the kids have to be picked up by 4:15pm at the absolute latest. I took the train and a bus, then had to walk a little. The whole journey took approximately an hour. When Two saw me walk up, he got a huge smile on his face and walked over to me with his arms open. It's confirmed, I now know that he at least prefers me to anyone else when HP aren't around. The three of us walked to the bus stop and caught the bus back to the train station. (Sidebar: On the walk from the bus stop to the train station, a man approached us and asked how to get to the train station. For those of you who read my blog in Mainz, you may remember that people constantly stopped me to ask some kind of question, usually related to directions. I guess that theme is continuing here!) That particular station is under construction, which resulted in a much farther walk to the platform and also a lack of ramp or elevator up to train platform. One walks slow and Two was in the stroller. I had to walk with One and Two up to the platform, set them down and make sure Two wasn't going to walk off, and then run down the stairs, grab the stroller, and run back up before either of the kids could get into some mischief. This all was exaggerated by the fact that the train was approaching when we reached the bottom of the stairs. One was yelling at me from the top that the train was there as I was scrambling to make it back up, all while about 10 people were walking down the stairs and staring at us. We ended up missing the train and it was a 20 minute wait until the next one. The whole journey from door to door already takes an hour, so an extra 20 minutes was less than ideal. I was sure that one or both of the kids would have caused a scene, but luckily I had candy to bribe them with. We eventually made it home and HM arrived shortly after us. The rest of the night was mostly business as usual. One was a little rude with me, but that's nothing out of the ordinary.
Wednesday was a hard day. Both kids seemed to have woken up in terrible moods. One was cranky and moody and Two wouldn't stop crying. The morning hour of getting everyone up and out the door was a complete nightmare. I was shocked to see that they even left on time. I spent the rest of my day running errands and walking around a festival in the city. While I was waiting for the train back home, a man approached me asking a question about the trains. I was standing there with my headphones in, so I couldn't hear the first half of his question. He kind of stood there looking at me until I said something. I later went for a bike ride and sat in the sun. It's getting colder here. The high Wednesday was only 59. In the sun, it's beautiful, but in the shade with the wind it can feel quite a bit colder. HM got home with the kids at her normal time, but had to leave immediately for swim class with Two, leaving me at home alone with One. He ended up going over to the next door neighbors to play for a little. When he got back, he was a nightmare. He kept telling me that he didn't want to do anything I said (like hang his jacket on the hook by the door), be in a room I was in, or even be my friend at all. At one point I heard him mumbling something about a sister, so I think he might have been saying that he doesn't want me to be his sister. I'm not sure what that's all about. After he hit me, I sent him up to his room until he apologized. About five minutes later he wandered into my room with a book and told me that he needed me to read to him while he went to the bathroom. Whenever he goes poo, someone reads to him. Needless to say, he apologized for being rude and hitting me. The night was much better from then on. HM and Two got home and we all had dinner together before putting the kids to sleep. During dinner, One was eating cheese. One typically does not like cheese at all. I asked him why he was eating it (it was "kids" Gouda slices with animal heads printed in them). He looked at me and said that he only likes the "animal" cheese because it's his favorite. Who knew imprinted animal heads could have such an impact on taste! I put One to bed while HM took care of Two, who is much more difficult to get to sleep. I was just glad the day ended on a much better note than it began.
Thursday was another hard day. One was difficult from the moment he woke up. Two cried more than usual. I was amazed to see they got out of the house on time in the morning. I didn't do much during the day. I slept a little more and ran some errands. Thursday afternoon is when we go grocery shopping. One was still being rude when we went, so I ignored him the whole time. He kept being a brat throughout the evening. I ended up having to get very stern with him. After both kids were ready for bed, HM left to go to a dance class. It was just me and the kids until HD got back from Karlsruhe. Both were tired and they were practically already asleep by the time HD got home. I talked to HD about how difficult this week was with One. He seemed very concerned and insisted that I need to be more stern with One when the situation calls for it. I had already adopted this practice this week, but it was nice to hear from HP that what I was doing was fine by them.
This morning was much better with the kids. While I was brushing One's teeth he asked me if I remembered my arrival in Nürnberg when they picked me up at the bus station. I have no idea why he was thinking about it and he didn't elaborate. Hopefully both kids will be in a good mood when they get back. I did my usual this morning: slept another hour after everyone left, went for a run, and ran some errands. HM has been asking me to run more errands lately. They're nothing big, usually running to the grocery store to pick up something. Today I had to get fresh bread and then drop off a box at the post office. Today is also the first day of soccer for One. Though we won't be doing this today, I will normally go pick up One from school on Fridays and take him to soccer. It's a bit early in the afternoon for HP to leave work, so it falls to me. It's a beautiful day today. It's unusually warm at a sunny 68 F.
As previously stated, this was a hard week with the kids. At times I was feeling very discouraged, annoyed, angry, impatient, and flustered. There have obviously been bad days with the kids before, but this time I couldn't shake the feeling that it should be better by now, that so many moments of so many days shouldn't still be a struggle. A decent amount of what's happening is just the kids personalities. One is quite moody and Two really does cry a lot. However, a decent amount is also because of me, directly or indirectly. Two would cry no matter who was in the room if HP weren't there, but One very explicitly often doesn't want me around. I'm trying to stay positive, but it can be very difficult when a four year old is hurling abuse at you, physical and verbal, while a 1 year old won't stop screaming at the top of his lungs. If nothing else, this year will absolutely test my limits regarding patience and perseverance.
Hopefully there's something fun in store for this weekend.
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