Alles zu seiner Zeit.

My first month as an au pair has come to a close! In some ways, it feels like I've been here so much longer. In other ways, it feels like it's just begun (which is obviously the reality of the situation). I do feel at home here, particularly in a very physical sense. After a long day, I enjoy coming "home" to this house with these people.

I don't feel like a guest here anymore. I also don't feel like just an employee. Though I still have a lot to learn about my host family, in particular their personalities and habits, I feel more and more like a part of the family every day. The best example of this occurred last weekend. One night I had mentioned to HD that I wish I had some peanut butter to eat with my apple. Two days later, I came downstairs to find some peanut butter on the counter. FYI, peanut butter is incredibly American. They have it at most grocery stores here, but it's not even close to being a staple in German households. Neither of my HP had ever had it before. Even though I'm still having trouble with the kids, I'm confident that'll only get better the longer I'm here. 

I've fallen into more of a rhythm concerning daily activities. On weekdays I do some combination of the following: exercising, exploring the city, visiting with the neighbors, and running errands. However, I've barely been to any of the tourist attractions, so I'm going to start visiting two or three per week.

The one thing I'm really missing here is friends. Having people my own age to hang out with would be the one thing to take this experience to the next level. I joined a website called meetup.com to try and get out and meet people. Hopefully something comes of that. If not, I may look into some kind of class I can take, like cooking or photography, or I may also try to get involved in an adult sports league. I have to keep trying until something works for me.

Some things I've learned so far:
- I have the capacity for a lot more patience than I realize -  I just need to channel it more.
- Kids are hard work. They're little jerks half the time, but the half when they're adorable makes up for when they're not.
- There's no reason to be embarrassed of my German - it will get better and people are always patient when I'm having trouble expressing myself. Honestly, it's probably better than I give myself credit for.
- Despite all the drastic changes around me, I have to keep doing things that are so distinctly "me," things that keep me grounded, aka going for a run or reading a book per week. Such trivial activities bring a sense of normalcy to an otherwise new and stressful situation.
- Sometimes you have to go drastically outside your comfort zone, and you'll be all the better for it. I actually knew this one before, but I've realized just how true it is this past month.

Here's to seeing what the next month holds!

Halt die Fresse!

Friday we all went over to M and T's for Fabio's goodbye dinner. He left Saturday to go back home. We had my favorite German meal - Schnitzel with french fries and Krautsalat. We ended up discussing Thanksgiving this year. I had mentioned how I wanted to cook Thanksgiving dinner when my parents come to visit me in early December. Somehow it was also decided that we're going to cook a dinner on actual Thanksgiving Day. It appears that the first time I'll cook Thanksgiving dinner will be in Germany, for about 10 people. No pressure, huh?

Saturday was a very successful day! I drove all by myself to and from Stuttgart. It was about a 2 hour 15 minute drive each way. I was kind of dreading it before I left, but the drive ended up being a lot better than I anticipated. I hit a decent amount of construction. When the lanes narrowed for construction, I swear they were only 2 feet wider than my car. I was white knuckling the whole time, swearing that I was going to scrape the railing or the car beside me. I got lost twice but I never stalled! I also wanted to try my hand at taking advantage of the unrestricted sections of the Autobahn. I got up to a cool 200 km/h at one point. For those of you confused by that last sentence, not all parts of the Autobahn are without a speed limit. I'd say that maybe 1/2 of my drive yesterday was on restricted sections. Anyways, I went to Stuttgart to meet up with Cindy (she's my sister-in-law's best friend and therefore we became friends) and her friend, Lisa. They were in Munich for Oktoberfest and had decided that they wanted to go to Stuttgart too. Since I got a little lost, I ended up meeting up with them around 2. We then went to the Mercedes-Benz Museum. The museum was a lot better than I anticipated. It was 7 stories tall! You started at the top with the invention of the motorized vehicle and then wound your way all the way down, seeing the progression of the mechanics of vehicles, as well as the outer aesthetics. I was pleasantly surprised by how interesting it was. Afterwards we headed to Cannstatter Volksfest, Stuttgart's version of Oktoberfest. As you may have guessed, it was remarkably similar to the actual Oktoberfest. We walked around for a few hours, eating and drinking along the way. It was nice to talk to people with a similar background, who understand things like the American university system and organized high school sports. It's hard to make real connections with people who you share almost nothing in common with except a language (and even so, my German still leaves something to be desired). I guess I hadn't realized this until I spent the day with Cindy and Lisa. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't leave Stuttgart feeling a certain kind of refreshed.

Mercedes-Benz Museum

Just a few cars.

This was built for the pope!

What greeted you at the entrance.

Cindy and I.

Du Arschgeige!

This week was off to a rough start. I think it has to do with how little time I spent with the boys over the weekend.

Monday I got to sleep in. I eventually got up, ran, went for a bike ride, and then hung out until they all got home. HM got home with the kids around her usual time. One was rude with me most of the time he was home. He didn't want me to play with him or even be in his room. He eventually left with HD for swim lessons. I helped watch Two while HM did some chores inside and out. One continued to be rude to me when he got back. I'm really getting tired of his actions toward me.

Tuesday was even worse, as far as One was concerned. HD left early in the morning for an overnight work trip in Karlsruhe. That afternoon I went over to M's to cook lunch with her and L, who was home sick from school. We cooked a delicious spaghetti bolognese (it was mostly M but L and I helped!). I stayed over until shortly before HM got home with the kids. From the moment the kids got home, One was rude. He said that we aren't friends anymore and that he doesn't like me. He even went as far as to tell me that I should be dead. Not even kidding, those words came out of his mouth. I'm not sure if he completely understands what his words mean, but it's still a shocking thing to hear. The four of us went back over to M's and they all had the bolognese for dinner. We only stayed an hour and a half or so.

Wednesday I stayed home with Two all day. He was well enough to go to school Monday and Tuesday, but Wednesday his cough kept him home. As usual, we left to go for a walk when HM and One left in the car. I had to run some errands as well, and we ended up being out for almost two hours. He gets a lot grumpier when we're at home versus somewhere else. HM got back with One around the usual time. I had the rest of the evening free. HD got home late that night. One wasn't as rude with me that evening, though he still wasn't what I would consider pleasant.

Thursday I was home again with Two. We did some walking around town and bought some bread at the organic grocery store up the road. HM got home just a bit after 2 and I was relieved of my duties the rest of the day, having already worked 7 hours. I still went to the grocery store with HM and the kids so I could get some more food in the house that I want to cook and/or eat. I went for a short bike ride after dinner. One was much better Thursday. Still a little on the rude side of the spectrum at times, but overall much better than the beginning of the week.

I've realized that I have to be more stern with the kids, particularly One. I decided to put this into action this Tuesday evening. When we got back after dinner, I told One that he needed to put his bike away since he was done using it. He got mad at me, and eventually tried to kick and hit me. I caught his arms mid-air, informed him that we do not kick and punch and that I would not be playing with him until he apologized to me. He was REALLY unhappy about this. In my opinion, he needs to learn that his unacceptable actions towards me have consequences and that when I say something, I mean it. He may not like me for awhile, but he has to learn that I am also an authority figure and that when I say something, that's that. This all may sound really harsh, but my sanity kind of depends on if these kids have any respect for me. It's exhausting for all of us for HP to have to come in behind me and reiterate what I just said. I realize that this is only my third week being here and that we are all still adjusting, but I would rather not have to still correct these issues 7 months from now.

This week we started keeping track of my working hours. Technically, I'm only supposed to work up to 6 hours a day for a total of 30 hours a week. I don't exactly think a maximum of 6 hours a day is realistic some days, though the 30 hours a week is. For example, my shortest working day this week was 4 hours, but then I worked 10 hours the next day. So as long as I still only hit 30 hours a week, I don't have a problem with how exactly those hours fall.

I may be going to Stuttgart this weekend! Stay tuned to find out.

Ihr Weicheier!

Friday was exhausting. I was with Two from 8am to 5pm. We went on a few walks, played, and had lunch with M and L. I had trouble with putting him down for his nap. He ended up screaming bloody murder for awhile before he fell asleep on my chest while we were laying on the couch. I was too afraid to move him (plus I ended up falling asleep too). I knew HD would be getting home soon, so I waited for him to get home to lift Two off me and put him in bed. Just 10 minutes after HD got home, he had to head back out to get One from school. HM was at a team building event for work and didn't get home until much later. When HD got back with One, I heard him ask where HM and I were. It was a sweet moment. HD, the kids and I went over to the neighbors for dinner. Afterwards, Fabio and I went into the city. When I was grabbing my things to head out, One asked why I was going and informed me that he wanted me to put him to sleep. It was adorable, but I was ready for a break. I was exhausted, but I wanted to get out and do something. We didn't really do much, just kinda walked around and stopped at a bar for a drink.

Saturday turned out to be more activity than I anticipated. I slept in, skyped with my mom, went for a run and then went for a bike ride. Shortly after I got back from my bike ride I got a text from Fabio informing me that they (the neighbors) would all be going to Munich for Oktoberfest the next day and they wanted to know if I was interested in going along with them. Shortly after I accepted the invitation, M, L, and Fabio came over with one of M's Dirndl's for me to try on. I think we were all surprised to see that it mostly fit. I even learned proper Dirndl etiquette, like which side the bow must be tied on to show if you're single or not. So that was settled! I would be wearing her Dirndl the next day. While she was over, M invited me along to dinner with them that night, as they were planning on going to a "fränkisch" restaurant. Though Nürnberg is in Bayern (Bavaria), it's in the "Franken" region of Bayern. So, as you have probably realized by now, the five of us went to a restaurant serving fränkisch food. On the drive home, M and T asked if Fabio and I wanted to be dropped off in the city. I didn't really care either way. Fabio made the executive decision and before I knew it, we found ourselves in the city. We spent some time at a festival (no idea what exactly what it was for) before I got a call from an old Kwaj friend, Eddie, who lives in the area and was heading into town to go out. Eddie made it into town and Fabio and I went to meet up with him. Eddie had brought a friend with him and the 4 of us spent a few hours hanging out. Eddie took us to a couple of local bars. I was excited about that. I think I finally crawled in my bed at 3am.

Sunday was OKTOBERFEST!! I made my way over to the neighbors (wearing the Dirndl) at 10 and we left from there, the five of us in their car. There was traffic on the Autobahn due to a car accident. We had to take some smaller roads, which extended the drive by about an hour or so. I think we walked into the fair grounds around 1pm. We got lucky and got a table in one of the beer halls for the 6 of us (M's other nephew who lives in Munich joined us). We all ate and had a beer. We couldn't stay long, as the table had been reserved. We spent the rest of the time walking around. I didn't expect for there to be so many rides there. I guess I had always pictured Oktoberfest as beer drinking and nothing else. Alas, I was wrong. There were endless food stands, souvenir stands, rides, and other games. I would say about half the people were dressed up in Dirndl and Lederhosen. It's definitely an experience I won't forget. We made it back to Nürnberg right around 9:30pm. I think my experience would have been different if I had spent the whole time drinking in a beer hall instead of walking around. I guess that's what I'll be doing whenever I make it back!

Me wearing the Dirndl (it's a little big).

Eine Kuh macht Moo, viele Kühe machen Mühe.

Monday I went with HD to take the kids to school. I lazed around for a couple hours when we got back, and then I headed into the city. I bought a book with about 130 things to do in the area, so I'll have to start actually doing them soon. The cleaning woman comes on Mondays. She was home when I got back from town, so I decided to head out again. I didn't want to be in her way. I grabbed the bike and went back to my favorite little spot (a 30 minute bike ride away) where I read for awhile. The kids weren't home for long before I headed out with One and HD for One's swim lessons. This week is the first week of swimming for both. I needed to go and get the lay of the land in case I have to go in HD's place. HD always goes with One and HM always goes with Two. That night at bedtime, One asked HD if I could put him to sleep. This, folks, is MASSIVE progress. Just a week ago, One was basically unhappy with my entire existence. And now, he's asking me to put him to bed!! When One asked HD, my jaw dropped. I was stunned. I was so happy to finally really see the progress being implemented in every day activities. When I came downstairs after putting him to sleep, HP were beaming at me. I think they're happy with the progress as well. Two is still way slower to warm to me. I haven't lost hope with him yet.

Tuesday was a good day. After everyone left for work/school, I slept some more. I finally got up around 10, showered, and then headed over to the neighbors. M and I hung out for a little before we both went into town to run some errands. M is in her early 50s, aka closer to my own mom's age than to HM's. Today was the first day of school for kids here (not my host kids cause they aren't in actual school yet), and I suppose it's a big deal here. M has a friend whose youngest kid just started school and so they were having a party for him. We went over and delivered a present for the kid and flowers for the mom. M's son, L, was also there. We were there for about 15 minutes before the three of us left to get some lunch at an Italian place. The food was delicious, as expected. When the kids got home, it was business as usual. I played with the kids while HP did whatever they needed. At bedtime, One asked again if I could put him to sleep.

Wednesday was definitely a Wednesday. Two was sick, as we all anticipated. We could see the signs for a few days. He went to school anyways, only to come home with HM at 1pm. I had to watch him for an hour while HM took a conference call. He wailed, and I mean wailed, for half an hour after she left the room. He slowly calmed down. I talked to him and told him stories in my most soothing voice. I even talked to him about global warming, picking any topics I could talk about for awhile before running out of material. He eventually fell asleep on my shoulder. He was asleep for a good 15 minutes when HM came back into the room. I was supposed to go have lunch with M and L, but obviously that didn't happen. I did get to go for a run in the morning, so that was good. HM, Two and I went to pick up One from school. I went in by myself and got One as a practice run for when I'll actually do it on my own. He wasn't happy because he wanted to spend more time playing. He was grumpy towards me for awhile after that. I had developed a bit of a headache by the time we got back. I wasn't really talking much while I was with the kids. HM noticed and asked what was wrong. When I informed her that I had a headache, she said I could go relax in my room for a little, and so I did. One was also getting sick. The rest of the afternoon before dinner was spent with both kids watching tv (this usually doesn't happen, usually we're upstairs playing in one of their rooms). Shortly after dinner both kids were in bed, as Two appeared to be getting sick as well.

Thursday was a lot better than I expected it to be. I was at home all day with Two. Two often gets upset when HP leave the room. When he's sick, he's even worse about this. HP say that he's even like this with his own grandmother, that he gets upset when left alone with her. Knowing this, the day turned out much better than expected. We left to go for a walk when HM left, because that's when Two gets most upset- when he realizes they've left and he isn't going. We went on a walk for about an hour and a half. I like exploring the area and Two is so absorbed in looking around that he forgets why he's upset. M called later and asked if we wanted to go over for lunch with her and L, so we did. I put him down for a nap later. HM and One got back around 3:30 and I had the rest of the night "off," though One requested that I put him to sleep.

I can feel my German getting better ever so slowly. I'm stumbling over my words less. I'm feeling much more comfortable with what comes out of my own mouth. I've even been making some jokes here and there! I'm still having some trouble with "s" and "z" sounds. As a child I had a lisp and had issues pronouncing "s," "z" and "sh" sounds, so this isn't much of a surprise to me. Tuesday was the two week anniversary of me being here. I'm sure in another two weeks I'll be even better. When I was in Mainz, it was an uphill battle with my German before I really started noticing a difference. That battle lasted longer, as I was speaking so much more English. But here, even with speaking English to the kids, the battle seems to be ending quicker and evening out sooner. I'm sure it had something to do with my German being better when I arrived here than when I arrived in Mainz, but still, improvements are always welcome. Even with that said, some days my German are way better than others. It's a constant struggle.

Nicht lang schnacken, Kopp in' Nacken!

This weekend turned out better than expected.

Friday night we all went over to the neighbors. It was warm this weekend (in the 70s), so we did some grilling outside. It's nice to have conversations with people who aren't my host family. It's not that they aren't great, it's just that I've basically only been talking to them for the whole time I've been here. I was needing some contact with other people. I really like the neighbors. They're overall great people who happen to be funny. They'll correct my German or ask me questions about words in English or about life in the USA. HM has been friends with woman, or M, for twenty years, just as HD has been friends with the man, T, for twenty years. It's one of those situations that makes you believe in fate, like these four people were meant to be always in each others lives. HM and M and then also HD and T were friends before either couple was in a relationship. The four of them have lived in the same cities for most of the past 20 years, often just a street or two away. They all also work(ed) for the same company. Anyways, we went over for dinner Friday night and had fun. On the way home, One asked HM if she would carry him because he was tired. She said no, so I said I would (I look for every opportunity to further build on my relationship with the children). He was thrilled, and so I carried him home. While I was carrying him I heard HP saying something about it behind me. I turned and asked and they said. They smiled at me and said that they're glad I'm here. It made my heart happy.

Saturday was more than busy. I "slept in" until 8:30. The five of us went to IKEA for what would become a several hour adventure. I'd never been to an IKEA before. I drove there with HD while HM went in her car with the kids. We first ate breakfast there. I knew you could eat samples at IKEA, but I had no idea they had a whole cafeteria. It was about what I expected from a German breakfast buffet, with a few extras throw in. HP are in the process of furnishing the kid rooms. They've only lived in this house for about a year now and as the kids are getting older, their needs for furnishings are changing. We probably spent about two hours picking out and finding all the stuff they needed. They also told me to get anything I wanted, so I requested a pillow and a mirror. We made it home after an approximate 3 hour adventure. The sim card for my phone finally came in the mail. HD and I spent some time trying to get it all set up. After a month and a half, I finally have a functioning cell phone with a German number! I was stoked. HP had an appointment to get family photos taken that day. They asked me if I'd like to come along and be in some of their pictures. HD said that it just wouldn't be right if I wasn't going to be in a few. I would say I was in about 1/5 of the photos. It was really nice to be included in something of that nature. I wasn't expecting them to ask me to come.

We rushed back home after the pictures because the neighbors were coming over for dinner. They all showed up around 8. We ate and ate and ate, and then drank some too. M and T have a son, L, who's about 14 or so. M's nephew, Fabio, is about my age and is currently doing an internship in the city. He came and brought a friend, Nico, also my age. During dinner, M asked me about where exactly I'm from. This launched a 20 minute conversation about the Marshall Islands, why I was there, what it's like, have I been back, etc. (Sidebar: HM asked me if there was a new American sitcom they could watch. I suggested Modern Family. HP are hooked!) They had told the neighbors about Modern Family and wanted us to all watch an episode together. They all enjoyed it. When everything was winding down, I decided to go out on a limb and ask Fabio and Nico if they had plans for the night and if they wanted to go into town for some drinks. They didn't have plans, but they did want to go have a few drinks. Before we left, I made sure to say goodbye to HP. They both smiled at me, like they were proud of me or something. M drove us into town so we didn't have to wait for the train. We didn't really know where to go, so we kind of wandered around until we found a restaurant with a lot of other people our age. We had a drink, left to do some more wandering around, and eventually made our way into a night club. They're both really cool guys. I enjoyed talking about things that didn't end up back to being about the kids and dancing the night away. They also asked me a good deal about words in English and what they meant or why we said it, plus general things about life in the US. One of them even asked me why I studied German. That's a very common question for people here to ask me. I can't say I'm surprised though. It's far from common for Americans to study languages. I didn't get home until 4:30am. Unfortunately for me, Fabio is only here for a month and Nico was only here for the night. The search for friends continues.

This morning HD told me he was happy I had gone out and had fun. The day was mostly boring. I ended up taking a three hour nap and I'm still exhausted. Tomorrow another week of work begins! I'm going to hopefully do some more exploring. M invited me to go over to her house for lunch a few times a week. She doesn't work anymore and L comes home for lunch. As she said, she's cooking anyways so it's not any sort of inconvenience for me to join. She also says it'd be great if her and I could go do other things together throughout the week, like go to a museum. Her offer is incredibly sweet and I'm going to take her up on it. Free food, people to practice German with, and then some company during some days? Sounds like a win/win/win situation.

This week is when they boys swim classes start back up, and One also plays soccer. I feel like I'll finally be really utilized as an au pair because I may often take the kids to these things while HP have to work. We shall see soon enough.

Alles ist dein Schuld!

HP think it's a good idea for me to practice driving every day before I have to go anywhere alone with the kids (they're right). Monday I drove to the post office and grocery store with HD at lunchtime. He's been working from home because his office building is under construction. Again, I only stalled once and it was going out of the driveway. His car is a little more difficult than HM's but still not too bad. After him and I ran some errands, I made my way into town. It's only a 10 minute train ride from the nearby train station to the Hauptbahnhof. I mostly just walked around to try and get my bearings, stopping in some shops and also one of the big churches. HM and the kids got home at their normal time and the rest of the day went fairly smoothly. Since One is so hot/cold with me, HP and I are trying to figure out how to best immerse him in our new situation, especially the language aspect of it. Considering how the weekend went, Monday was a lot better with the little ones.

Tuesday was one week since I've been here! In some ways it feels like I've been here so much longer. I guess I just already feel so comfortable and that makes it feel longer. However, my lack of any sort of social life makes it feel like it's really only been a week.

I drove the kids to school with HM Tuesday morning. And when I say drove, I mean I drove the car and HM and the kids were my passengers. I had driven to the school with HD before, but that was on a Sunday afternoon when the roads were mostly empty. Everything went really well. Two was just sitting there staring at me for a while when I was driving. I guess he was a little surprised by the whole thing. HM was calmer than I expected her to be. Overall she seems to be more excitable than HD. I was expecting her to be on edge the whole time, especially with the kids in the car. If she was, I couldn't tell. The only time she really showed her nerves was when I went through a yellow light. When we arrived at the school she told me that I had done great. HM dropped me off at the train station in Erlangen afterwards. The kids school and HM's office are in Erlangen (north of Nürnberg). It made no sense for her to drive me all the way back home before work, and so I was dropped at the train station. I have a year-long bus/train/tram ticket that allows me to ride within a certain zone here. I really enjoy riding on the public transport. Most of the time it's incredibly reliable and the people watching is superb. I got off at the Nürnberg Hauptbahnhof and did some more walking around, this time going on different streets and into another church. On the way home I stopped at Mücke, the biggest shoe store in Bavaria. I was in search of some winter shoes.

I finally was able to go for a run on Wednesday. I had been working out 5 days a week before I left the US in August. Though I was definitely getting plenty of exercise on vacation through all the walking, I wasn't able to go for runs or lift weights. I had mapped out a route in my head beforehand, not really knowing how long it would be. It ended up being a little too short so I had to double back to run the full 3.5 miles I intended. I had to go with HD to get the kids from school. HM was going to a work dinner party after work. HD and I had to go get her car from work and then get the kids. It was the first time I was in the car alone with the kids, and there was no crying! HD put the kids in the car with me and then he drove HM's car back alone. We were both expecting Two to throw a fit, but still, nothing. Progress! That evening as One and I were playing, he got mad at me. Two had come into the room and broke the lego house we were building, so naturally One blamed it on me. His exact words were, "Alles ist dein Schuld! Wir sind nicht mehr Freunde!" or, "Everything is your fault! We aren't friends anymore!" I kinda just stopped what I was doing and sat there. He then asked me why I stopped playing. When I told him that I was waiting for him to be nicer to me, he informed me that I could start playing again. Even with this outburst, we were making progress. HM wasn't home for dinner or until after I went to sleep, so it was HD and I with the kids all night. I was surprised by how smoothly it went.

Thursday was fantastic. I took a nap when everyone left, ate lunch, and then grabbed one of the bikes and went out for a ride along the Pegnitz River. I originally just intended to find a cute place to sit along the river and read, but then I began seeing signs for the Altstadt (the old city, part of the city center). I ended up following these all the way into the city center. Though technically we live in Nürnberg, we are basically right on the city line on the east side. I took my time, stopping at particularly pretty places. After I had ridden enough to be in the middle of the city, I turned back around to go sit on the little beach I found. It was there I sat for an hour. On my journey back, I stumbled upon something fascinating. I found a flock of sheep being herded by a shepherd, complete with a sheepdog! The whole scene just brought a huge smile to my face. There I was, in the middle of Germany's 14th largest city, and I find a man herding sheep with his dogs. Priceless. As soon as I made it home I left again for the shoe store. I had found a pair of boots that were cute and comfortable on Monday, I just wanted some time to reflect on the purchase. In Europe they use the little chips in debit/credit cards instead of swiping. Most US cards don't have this chip, but my credit card does. However, they wouldn't take credit cards and they weren't able to swipe my debit card, so I had to walk down to the bank and withdraw some cash. They're the biggest shoe store in Bavaria and not only can they not swipe cards, but they can't accept credit cards? Ridiculous. I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to grab a couple things I wanted. HM got home with the kids around 5 and we all left to go to the grocery store. When I walked outside, Two saw me and smiled and laughed. HM said that's progress. I agree. This trip to the grocery store was completely different than the one last week. No one cried and One and I had fun. HD had gone to Karlsruhe for work early that morning and didn't get back until long after the kids were in bed. Usually HM puts One to bed while HD puts Two to bed. With one of them gone, more responsibility falls on me to keep one or the other occupied until the other is asleep. Usually Two is in bed first. While HM was putting Two to bed, I sat with One. I had brought them a Little Critter book as a present when I got here. We hadn't read it yet, so I suggested it while we waited for HM. One ended up asking me to read it to him 4 times. The day was almost completely without incident, aside from Two being a little fussy. Again, progress!

I'm not sure exactly what this is, but it was just a few minutes into the bike ride.

The Pegnitz River, a quick 6 minutes from the house.

The sheep, just a few steps off the bike/walking path.

I write this as I wait for HM and the kids to get back. It's Friday. This morning I went with HD to drop the kids off. I stalled a record three times. I was discouraged. As HD said, we're all alive, so it really isn't a problem. I tried to nap, without success, so I got on the bike and rode back to the little beach. Again I encountered the shepherd with his flock. I'm not sure what's in store for the weekend, but I hope it's something fun. I really need to make some friends.

When today ends, my first full week of work will be over. It went by very quickly and I enjoyed exploring the city. Once I make some friends, I think life here is going to be absolutely fantastic.

Wir sind in Deutschland, und hier muss man Deutsch.

I have already discovered how discouraging this will be at times. Friday was particularly difficult for a few hours. By days end, I realized that I just need to be patient, that there will be ups and downs, that certain things are to be expected, and that there are already so many more positives than negatives.

One is really not happy that I speak English with him. As previously stated, he often asks me why I don't speak German with him more, especially after I've said something in German. He gets frustrated quickly when he can't understand me or when I can't understand him. This is also a part of his personality, but it's exaggerated when he's upset about something.

HD and I picked the kids up from school Friday. One has been introducing me to people when I'm at school with him, and this day was no exception. It's quite adorable, even when he's not being so pleasant to me otherwise. We then went to the grocery store. One was really unhappy with me and kept telling me that I wasn't allowed to talk to him or stand too close to him, pushing me away from him even though I was pushing the cart he was sitting in. He even went as far to tell me that we're in Germany so I have to speak German. At this time Two was being fickle and would cry when HD walked away. It's not that I expected this to be easy. I just didn't expect to be so discouraged by the children so quickly. Simply put, I felt like I was already a failure. As if sensing my discouragement and frustration, HD then turned to me, smiled, and asked which one of the kids I'd like to just leave at the grocery store. Comic relief makes everything better.

I was putting the groceries away at home and HD and the kids were outside. One came into the kitchen and informed me that HD told him that he had to give me a hug and apologize for being so rude to me. After this exchange the two of us had a fabulous time playing together the rest of the day. One and I were tickling Two when One turned to me to tickle me. He missed the mark when he managed to basically grab both of my breasts instead. Such is life with children, huh? At dinner HP were talking to One again about it and asked him if he wanted me to leave, because if he kept being so mean then I would surely leave and none of them wanted that. This exact conversation has now been repeated at least 5 times in the past few days.

I feel like I am slowly falling into their rhythm. The bedtime activities seemed to go easier Friday than before. I was brushing One's teeth while he was trying to play with some toys. HD was standing there and he started laughing and told me that I was doing a fantastic job. I'm pretty sure he was being serious.

Saturday all five of us went into the center of town and up in the castle where you can see the whole city. It was cold and windy and the children were tired. One wouldn't let me talk to him and Two cries if he can't see HP or Two. Despite all this, I still enjoyed myself. Nürnberg is adorable and there's so much history and beautiful architecture. Sometime this week I'm going to head back and do some exploring by myself.

As much as One resists English, I can tell he's starting to really absorb it. Sometimes when I say something he'll repeat what I said 3 or 4 times out loud to himself. At dinner on Saturday I asked him if he was drinking apple juice. He answered, "Nein, es ist kein apple juice!" He looked kind of confused for a moment before he corrected himself and said, "Nein, es ist kein Apfelsaft!" I guess it's progress?

I'm quite proud of myself today. HD and I took the car out for me to practice driving. As previously stated, I'll sometimes have to take the kids to school or pick them up and bring them home or to swim classes. HM and HD often go out of town for work so it'll be especially pertinent that I'm comfortable driving. HD even said I should be comfortable enough so that if I want to take the car on the weekend, I can. Some of their gestures really make me feel like more part of the family and less of an employee. We went to a parking lot and switched drivers and so it began! The original plan was for me to first get my bearings in the parking lot and then maybe go onto the streets, but the parking lot was too small for my level of experience. My own parents taught me how to drive a manual, starting as early as when I was around 15 in my dad's '66 Rambler with a column shifter. One of my brothers and my dad have/had manuals, so every now and again I'd drive. I've just never really felt comfortable on the roads, especially with knowing when to downshift. My experience today was totally different. We left the parking lot after 5 minutes and I ended up driving for about an hour. We drove around a bit before we headed back to the house, where we left again so I could drive to/from the kids school. The route to their school includes time on the Autobahn. I would often ask what certain signs meant and HD would explain other rules of the road. Everything was without incidence and really easy. HD said several times that I was doing well and that I had nothing to worry about, adding that I should be proud of myself. I only stalled one time when we got back home and HD made me practice backing out of the driveway (it's a bit tricky with many opportunities to hit fences, gates, and other cars).

Kids are funny. Sundays are always off days for me. I have no obligations to eat with the family or help with the kids or even play with the kids. I was up in my room relaxing after the driving lessons when I overheard HM talking to One. He was wanting to play with me. I couldn't help but laugh, as both Friday and Saturday (though Saturday was also technically a day off) he wanted nothing to do with me. I made him ask me politely (in English) to play with him before I did.

Tonight we all went to the neighbors for dinner. My HP have been friends with them for 20 years now and they're more like family than anything else. They have a teenage son and they also have a 21 year old nephew living with them. I image that I'll be spending a lot of time with them over the next year, especially since they live mere steps from us. Anyways, they just got back from vacation in Italy, so we enjoyed some Italian food for dinner. It was nice to meet the people I've already heard so much about. The mother/wife informed me that if I wanted I should call her up and her and I could go into town together or go for a cup of coffee. I'll have to take her up on that sometime.

When we got back from dinner, HD asked how I was doing. One had a little outburst directed towards me when we left for dinner and had to apologize to me once we arrived at the neighbors. HD wanted to offer some words of encouragement and to remind me to not be discouraged. Judging by the look on his face, I think he was a little discouraged as well. I am their first au pair, so they're learning how to navigate this just as I am.

I'm not sure what this next week holds, but I'd like to get into a rhythm of going for a jog in the mornings once everyone leaves. I'd also like to go into the city and do some more exploring on my own. I need to go buy some better shoes as well, as my Toms and Converse aren't going to keep me warm through the cold fall and snowy winter. The high tomorrow is only 57F!!

One last random thing to add to this post! There isn't really a "th" sound in German. At the grocery store the other day we bought some smoothies. On the container it indeed said, "Smoothie." However, since Germans can't make that "th" sound, they pronounce it more like, "smoozie." Needless to say, I've been helping my HP practice.

Du machst alles falsch!

One woke up tired and grumpy on Thursday. He wasn't interested in eating breakfast and would only drink his juice if there was a straw in the cup. When it was time for everyone to leave, I went ahead and put One in his car seat. I was apparently not doing it correctly because he said to me, "Du machst alles falsch!" Or, "You do everything wrong!" To be fair, I had never put him in that car seat yet (the ones in the other car are different), so I hadn't been shown how. However, he's right, he needs to be buckled in correctly. I then proceeded to do it as he showed me and I asked him if it was up to his standards. He just looked at me and my host dad laughed. I shut the car door and took a step back and my host dad looked at me, laughed, and said and said something like, "kids are such a joy, eh?" I think I'll refer to him as HD (host dad) from now on, and my host mom as HM (host mom).

I had to go to the bank to set up a bank account on Thursday. There's a branch right down the road from the house, so I walked there. Everything went smoothly at the bank. I was able to open an account right then and there with minimal English. The bank employee knew immediately that I wasn't German, 1) because he knew I'm an au pair, and/or 2) he heard my accent. He asked if I wanted to speak German or English. I opted for German, but did mention that if absolutely necessary we could speak English. The whole process took about 20 minutes and he only spoke English once. I should have my debit card by next week.

HM asked me on Wednesday if I wanted to make some kind of soup to have for lunch throughout the week. I said yes, and opted for my favorite potato soup. HD bought all the ingredients that night and I went ahead with cooking it after the bank. The whole process took me about 2 hours. I had to convert all the measurements and find all the utensils I needed. The stove was also all touch screen. There were no words and no outlined buttons, just symbols against a black background. I eventually figured out how to get it on, but I'll definitely have to ask my host parents (HP, from now on) some follow up questions about how it works. HP tried it later on and thought it was good. HD actually said, "Finally, someone in this house who can cook!" as neither him nor HM like to cook. All in all, I'd say it was a successful first cooking attempt. I threw some laundry into the wash while I cooked. Figuring out how the washing machine was a lot easier than the stove, but I still probably sat there for 10 minutes looking at all my options.

The whole language aspect is more difficult than I was expecting. My German has regressed entirely too much since I was in Mainz, even more than I realized. Part of the problem is nerves and not wanting to sound stupid, but a good bit is just not having the vocabulary. For example, never have I needed to say "zipper" in German. Or hole puncher, or clutch, or shifter, or clothes hangers, and so on. I often find myself tripping over words. German word order is very structured and is completely different than English, so I often have to retrace my words to remember which verb I was going to use. For example, in English we say, "I want to drink some hot chocolate" In German the construction is more like, "I want some hot chocolate to drink." Basically, the conjugated verb comes after the subject, but all other non-conjugated verbs come at the end of the sentence. Sounds difficult, right? It's even worse with different tenses and with clauses. If I'm not actively listening to a conversation, I can't understand most things. You might not have realized this unless you speak another language. In English I can be doing something and then also talking to someone or listening to something and have no trouble with comprehension. In German or French I have to entirely devote my brain power to actively listening while looking at the person talking to me, absolutely no zoning out allowed. When I was in Mainz I kept a notebook of new and useful vocabulary and sayings. I brought it with me and have already filled up a page. Hopefully that will help with committing everything to memory.

Two doesn't speak yet. However, I can understand his language of pointing and grunting very well. One often says things I don't understand either because of the vocabulary or because he's facing away from me or mumbling. One really doesn't want to speak English with me. Sometimes I get him to say a couple words here and there before we do something, sometimes not. Too bad for him as I'm not going to stop! He also gets a bit mad if he says something and I don't understand him or if I say something and he doesn't understand. It's only the first week and I have faith that will change soon enough. I'm anxious to get to the point where both kids trust me and like me. I'd say they both already like me well enough. I have a lot to learn about them: what they like, what they don't, how they do things, etc. I also have a lot to learn about my HP and how they handle situations with the kids. I don't want to react to something in a way they would never do themselves. Like any job, there's always a steep learning curve.

This weekend I'm going to practice driving the car. HM is going to be away for a few days the week after next so the sooner I can drive the car, the better. I'm nervous about driving the manual car for a number of reasons. 1) I can't drive a manual very well, 2) I'll be in someone else's car with someone else's children, 3) some of the driving rules here are different, 4) most of the road signs are different, and 5) I don't know the area. I guess I just have to get over all of that and just do it. Sink or swim, eh?

HM told me the first day that she likes watching sitcoms in English. She used to watch Friends and another show that I can't recall at the moment, but they were looking for something else. I suggested Modern Family. The three of us started watching it the other night and they're both really enjoying it. A few times they've asked me about what something means in English. I won't lie, it's nice for the tables to turn sometimes.

Today I may go out and do some exploring. I still haven't had a chance to really look up what I want to do here. If I can get it done today, I'll go out before the kids get back. As soon as I'm comfortable with the city I'm going to find things to occupy my time. Maybe a language table, maybe something at the university, maybe even a second job.  I'd like to really explore my options before I commit to anything seeing that I have so much time.

I don't have any real plans for the weekend yet, but hopefully something comes along!

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.

Yesterday was the big moving day. I met Matt back at his apartment after my breakfast with Kalle. We headed out with my bags and made our way to the Hauptbahnhof. Since Matt was kind enough to take off work to help me, he basically only had time to drop me off and leave. I got to the bus stop around 13:35. At 13:45, it started raining. My bus was supposed to come at 14:00. It unfortunately didn't actually arrive until about 15:00. So yes, I stood in the rain for nearly and hour and a half. My bags were soaking wet by the end, as was I. The bus ride was about 3.5 hours. I was too nervous to read or be productive, so I mostly listened to music, looked out the window, and took a few catnaps. I had been to Nürnberg last year for a music festival so I began to recognize the area when we got close. I even saw my host family through the window as the bus pulled up.

I can't remember the last time I was as nervous as I was when I got off the bus. I walked towards my host family and it was a few steps before they noticed me. They were all holding signs that said "<3 - lich Willkommen Farrah!" (It just means "Welcome, Farrah!") The word for heart in German is "Herz" and the word "herzlich" can mean "warm," "cordial,"  "affectionate," etc. They had replaced the "herz" in "herzlich" with a drawn heart. How adorable is that!? We were all smiles. Both my host parents hugged me and I gave the boys a high five. We chatted a little about the late bus, my host dad and I grabbed my bags, and then we were off. We headed straight back to the house. They had decorated their door, staircase, and my bedroom door with balloons and welcome signs. They also had a beautiful bouquet of yellow flowers waiting for me in my room, and of course some artwork by the boys next to the flowers. I was shown to my room. My older host kid, we'll call him "One," is four years old, also wanted to show me his room and immediately wanted to begin playing. For future reference, I'll call the younger one "Two."

The welcome signs and balloons on the front door.

My flowers and handicrafts.

Before dinner I gave them all their presents. I gave my host mom a koa wood bracelet from Hawaii, my host dad a Green Bay Packers beer bottle koozie, One and Two got three books and two small toys. I also gave the family two Marshallese handicrafts, one turtle and one star, plus postcards of Huntsville. My host parents wanted to grill outside for dinner, but it was raining when we got home. They ordered pizza instead. After dinner while we were still sitting at the table, the boys became interested in the books I brought. They both came and sat on my lap and I read a Curious George book to them. Once dinner was over, I helped a bit to get the kids ready for bed. I mostly just stood there and watched what they do. My host parents and I had a couple of glasses of wine once the kids were in bed. We talked about an assortment of things, including what kinds of errands we needed to run the next day and what exactly I would and wouldn't be doing the next day. Eventually we got it all sorted and they went to bed. I then spent two hours getting all my things unpacked. My room is bigger than I was expecting (really the whole house is bigger than I thought it might be) and I had no problems fitting everything in. I even have some space left!

Here's my room!

My bedroom door.

The view of my room, standing from my door.

A little table with a television mounted above it.

Standing in front of the windows, my bookshelf and wardrobe.

Today was incredibly busy. I was awake at 6:15 (after getting into bed at 1), showered, and then began the morning routine. The boys were up around 7. They had to get dressed, eat, brush their teeth, put their shoes on, and then were out the door. Even though my host parents work for the same company, they work in different locations and therefore drive separately to work. I did a good amount of standing around in the morning too, but was able to help with shoes and brushing teeth. I'm sure I'll have the routine down pat soon. I left with my host mom and the kids to drop them off at their school. They both attend bilingual school during the day. When we got to the school, my host mom showed me the ropes of exactly what to do and also introduced me to some of the workers. Since I'll be picking up or dropping off the kids alone some days, they need to know who I am. The whole process was quite easy. Once the kids were at school, my host mom and I went into town to run some necessary errands. We went to the Bürgeramt to register me as living here, then to the foreigners office to fill out a form to extend my visa, next was the train station where we got a year-long public transport ticket for me, and last was Aldi where we purchased a German sim card for my phone. The sim card was too big and we had to go through the whole mess of calling to get a smaller one sent.

After all of that was done, we had about two hours until we had to pick up the kids from school. My host mom ended up skipping work today. Picking up the kids was quicker than dropping them off. When One saw me at his school, he ran over to me and gave me a huge hug with a huge smile on his face. We stopped for ice cream on the way home. I played with the kids for a few hours before dinner and for a little bit after. Two went to sleep first, and then One asked for me to come in and say goodnight to him once he was in bed. I think it's safe to say he likes me. I mostly speak English to them. Two doesn't talk at all yet. One talks all the time in German and I'm already learning from him. When he doesn't answer me or when he doesn't understand what I said, I repeat myself in German. When I switch to German, he always asks me why I don't speak more German. A few times today I made him say something in English before I did what he wanted. He doesn't like speaking English but he'll do it.

Tomorrow I have to go to the bank and open an account. Other than that, I have no plans aside from the typical morning and evening routines. Oh, they also want me to drive here. I'll have to get a drivers license so that I can pick up/drop off the kids at school. Both of their cars are manuals and driving rules are different here, so we'll see how that goes.

Everything is off to a fantastic start! I'm excited about the coming year.

...but at a gut level, change is uncomfortable.

Today is the day!! In just about 20 minutes I'll begin my journey south to Nürnberg/Nuremberg. My bus arrives at 17:10 my time, and the adventure begins then! My entire host family will be meeting me at the bus station. 

This morning I had a hard time eating my food because I'm so nervous. I'm sure the rest of the day will be just the same. Luckily, I had breakfast with perhaps my favorite German, Kalle, and it was wonderful to see him. The welcome distraction kept me from worrying too much about the rest of my day. 

When I get a chance, I'll be sure to write about my first few hours/days with the family. Wish me luck!!